I've got goals. You've got goals. Everybody's got goals these days.
Merriam Webster's definition of a goal is: the end toward which effort is directed. And for this reason, goals are excellent tools. They give us the visual of where we are headed. An end result on which to focus.
As we're approaching the halfway point for the year, I sat down to look at how my 2018 goals are coming along. I do this monthly to hold myself accountable and make sure I'm staying focused. But this time a flurry of emotions came over me as I realized time is ticking. There's only 6 more months left in the year and some of my goals I had hoped to achieve by the end of the summer. I became overrun with disappointment, guilt, and embarrassment. Everything in me said "You are failing."
I don't know about you, but I struggle a lot with self-doubt and self-criticism.
A life-long perfectionist and people pleaser, I am well trained to beat myself up when I fall short of my own expectations. And my expectations never leave room for failure. No room for setbacks. No room for well, life, really. I mentally beat myself up for not being perfect. For not being better. For not being different. Thoughts that I frequently battle:
"You'd be on track for your weight loss goal if you weren't so lazy!"
"If you hadn't watched that movie last night you'd have gotten more done and would be further along!"
"Other people can do this, so why is it so hard for you? You clearly aren't cut out for this."
My inner critic is one nasty mean girl. She's quick. She's sharp. And she always hits me right where it hurts.
Can you relate?
Goals are not meant to be achieved overnight. They take time and the journey to achieving a goal is not always linear. Sometimes a step backwards is actually a step forward.
How often do you beat yourself up for not achieving goals in the timeframe you thought? And what is this costing you?
For me, continuing to allow my inner-critic's perfectionist view to rule my mind is costing me 3 things:
- My happiness
- My ability to move forward at all (i.e. it keeps me playing small)
- My ability to see the "good" (i.e. It keeps me focused on the "bad")
All of these things are worth fighting for. Don't you agree?
Because the truth is, although I'm not exactly where I want to be on the journey to achieve my goals, I've made a ton of progress. I'm no longer at the starting point. If I look at my goals like I'm hiking a trail, I’m way beyond the trail head but I can't see the summit yet. But I'm in the middle. I'm on the path. I'm making progress. And I'm doing it in a way that feels good. I'm taking time to relax, watch movies, meet with friends, and try new things. Plus, I'm giving myself permission to reflect along the way. And that is worth celebrating.
What small wins are you celebrating today? Can you shift your mindset to view your goals differently?
Today, I'm celebrating the fact that I published this blog- my first blog post. One of my goals is to share my voice and connect more with people on a similar journey. Blogging/writing is one way I want to do this. It's been a long road to get here and I've pushed out the "launch" date many times over the last 12 months. And that's okay. Because it wasn't a race. Life happened and I adjusted. And now it feels right. It's not perfect but perfect isn't the goal. The goal is to share and connect. So, I'm going to hit publish and celebrate.
I challenge you today to pick one goal you have and write down 3 things you are celebrating about it.
Even if your inner critic is screaming that there is nothing to celebrate, do it anyway. Dig deep. Because there is always something celebrate.
Do you need help finding something to celebrate? Need help seeing the "good" in your life?
If so, leave a note in the comments below or email me. I want to help you.
You are worth celebrating. What you bring to this world is worth celebrating. And the progress you are making is worth celebrating.
